Goals are always a good thing and keep us motivated. So what is the problem with someone if you find them always fantasizing about a situation they are not a part of and underestimate the present? This can be a case of “grass is greener syndrome.” A person only focuses on what is wrong with their present life. They think that something better is waiting for them to achieve and spend the entire time overthinking multiple scenarios.
7 Symptoms Clarifying Grass Is Greener Syndrome
While still not a psychological condition officially, the grass is greener syndrome can hinder the performance and personal well-being of the survivor. There is no harm in you or your near one wanting a better life. But if you find yourself or someone you know obsessing too much about a not-so-real scenario and neglecting the good things in their life, this can be a genuine problem. Wondering how to know if it’s the syndrome or a regular thought! The points here will offer adequate help.
No two people are equal! So you cannot compare your journey with your friend vis-à-vis and think that you are not worthy, or they are. However, people with the syndrome often compare themselves with others, be it a job, spouse, or a new mobile. They are never satisfied with the things they have. This eventually leads to a lot of waste in energy, time, and, of course, emotional drainout.
With unhealthy comparison comes unnecessary complications! The person eventually fails to find happiness in what they have. They are always agitated, irritated, and angered. Even a normal conversation with these people seems like hearing loads and loads of complaints. The famous Gautama Buddha once said, “You can only be happy when you learn to accept what you have and shift your focus from what you don’t.” While advice and constructive criticisms are good, you cannot constantly complain about someone or a situation, thinking it’s not what you want.
Tendency To Runaway From Situations
People with grass is greener syndrome also find it difficult to settle down. A slightest of the problem, and you will find them bouncing off the frame. They find peaceful situations too boring. In contrast, the real challenges scare them off, thinking this is too intimidating for them to handle. The person is always in pursuit of happiness, thinking that to be happy again, they need to find a more meaningful and likable situation than they currently have. You will always find the person reluctant to try to solve the problem.
The person is always acting on their impulses. There is less thinking and more doing, which ultimately can hurt others or lead to self-sabotaging behavior. The impulsive tendency makes one choose the wrong partners and end up in a traumatized situation that is not welcoming.
Fear plays an important role in the life of a person affected with grass is greener syndrome. You will find them, always searching for better choices. On the contrary, this can also be their inner fear driving their actions, making them not confident enough to put that faith in a relationship or a job. The person fears the ‘what if’ and hence backs off from every commitment they are subjected to. The fear of commitment also indicates years of childhood trauma, episodes of being abandoned, and not getting enough attention from parents. The person somewhere loses their sight of the reality.
Fantasizes A Lot
When done with their episodes of overthinking, complaining, running away, and not committing, these people finish the day fantasizing about the unknown. They think of perfect partners, having loads of money, and going on a dream vacation. The reality does not look promising to them, while fantasizing does solve that gap, helping one with the much-required mental peace.
Has Attachment Issues
According to several theories in psychology, a person needs to have proper attachment as an infant to evolve into an adult who will feel safe in a relationship. However, childhood traumas make one develop avoidant or anxious patterns towards relationships. The person always feels unworthy of themselves, but their pride stops them from showcasing their true self. Instead, these people act ungrateful, disrespectfully treating others before others do the same. All they want is to not relive the trauma all over again.
How To Train The Brain? For People With Grass Is Greener Syndrome
Relationship issues, sleep problems, anxiety disorders, and severe stress are common for people with grass is greener syndrome. But one has to find a steady way out of the thought spiral, and here is how:
Move Towards Balanced Thinking
The entire issue with the grass is greener syndrome is that you tend to focus more on the negatives than the positives. Eventually, it leads to negative actions and ill-speaking towards others, sabotaging your regular image of self and creating a negative spiral. So the next time you find yourself in the same spiral, stop! Take some time to reflect on the positives in your life and find a way to balance thinking.
Show More Gratitude For What You Have
Maintain a gratitude journal, and say thank you to the universe. Instead of counting the have-nots, focus on what you have and how great it makes you feel. Try to be more present in the moment and not in some other world that solely exists in your head.
Identify The Toxic Traits And Try Working On Them
Identify your childhood traumas and barriers. How did you end up believing that what you have is insufficient? Try to rationalize those episodes with practical thoughts. Things you could not register while young might make sense now, and you will get that ultimate closure, bringing a sense of fulfillment about the present life you are leading.